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Monday, December 7, 2015

I've been out of it for a while now. I hate how I feel during the holidays and when I shop at Walmart. :) It's a humanity thing......
Anyway, in all seriousness, I am in need of a fresh start. A clean slate in my mind. I have been in a serious funk.
My husband and I have been talking about how chaotic the world has become - crazy consumer debt, terrorism, high stress in everyone's lives, the powers that be keeping society divided against itself - angry and fighting about everything, everyone feeling entitled to whatever they want and not wanting to be productive members of society, and it goes on and on.....
I have found myself wanting to just retreat, hide from everything, and become more and more of a recluse.....the option is being very, very angry and lashing out at people in public. In turn, I have been becoming more and more depressed.
So, being completely transparent, I need to refocus. I know God wants better for me and my family. I have let myself become so distracted and disillusioned with all that is going on around me and in my head, that I have wandered far and taken no responsibility for my own journey. I love this quote in the picture above. I can complain and be sad and remorseful about how the world is right now, or I can start making a change.
I have a huge responsibility to my little boy, to be an example on how to live, cope and relate to others and the world around me. I have to show him how to love as God loves us, how to take care of this world He has entrusted us with, how to be a productive member of society and how to live his conscience and values.
And this is Christmas. Maybe not the exact date, but the season chosen to take time to stop and think about the fact that God came to us, as a man like us. I owe Him nothing less than my whole mind and life and heart. It just takes faith. But faith takes action. I am responsible for that.
I want to be good to people, give when I see a need, follow God's prompting, spread peace, take care of this earth and this body He gave me, be the best friend my husband deserves and raise my child without regrets.
so, let's see how this plays out. It has to start today.

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